SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We have so much sex to catch up on
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
