matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He has the fingertips of a God
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