im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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