Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize