i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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