Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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