Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
