Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
