The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
