I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
