Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
