3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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