that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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