what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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