Plan B is the new Plan A
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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