I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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