is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Actions speak louder than pants.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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