Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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