I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
