I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
