All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
