So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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