Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
