why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize