And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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