i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
