how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
