Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
