By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
