What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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