Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
