Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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