so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
