God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
