he shaved USA in his pubs
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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