Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
