You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
