My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
