just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize