Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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