I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
