There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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