She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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