I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
