hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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