do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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