U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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