i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She's the barista slut.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
