i may or may not be watching the land before time
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize