is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
