No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
