Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
