I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Come on in and take your pants off
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
