Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
