Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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