you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
